Posts Tagged ‘Depression’

Stop Hating and Start Motivating!

We all have days where we just don’t wanna get up and do anything! Some people have more of those than others. 😉 Sometimes, you just need some way to get that motivation and kick your butt in to gear!!!

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      I see many who spend more time sulking about what they are unhappy with than getting up and doing something about it. I get it, I have been there! You don’t have to go through life unhappy, angry, depressed, and all around hateful? You CAN change!

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    If you really want to change things and how you feel about yourself, posting your self hate on social media sites probably won’t get you there. 😉 Another approach is getting up and getting started! Making small changes in your daily diet and activities is a great start! Maybe cutting soda out or walking in the evenings after dinner. Start with small steps and small goals that will help you get to where you want to be!

   STOP making excuses!!! If you want to be fit and be happy with your body, you have to be willing to make the changes! Making excuses is just saying it is that it isn’t important to you. It took me a long time to get beyond my excusititus (that’s what I call it lol) It is an illness, spread by negative thoughts and in some cases negative people. You have to not only start changing how you think, but you may also need to separate yourself from the negative aspects in your life. You start thinking more positive, you will stop making excuses!

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     I try to surround myself with positive people. In the past I had people in my life who would give me reasons why I couldn’t or shouldn’t do something and others who were so caught up in finding the negative in their own lives and expecting me to help pick them back up. I couldn’t do it for myself, let alone others around me. When there is no positive people in your life, who will pick you up when you really need it? I have seeked out several motivating and positive fitness minded individuals on social media sites. Some are like me, just regular people looking to change their body and life, some are professional athletes, fitness models, body builders, etc.  Most professionals are more than happy to answer questions and help you get where you want to be! Seeking guidance from a personal trainer at your gym can also be a huge help. Most of them have made quite the life transformations themselves!!!!

 Foe example, this is Kelsey Byers. I follow her on Facebook. She is a fitness model and a super friendly lady! She is a great example of a motivating person to follow and is always glad to lend some advice or a friendly word.

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     Sometimes just chatting with other people on the same journey or looking at their before and after pictures motivates me. Other days, putting on my workout gear and shoes will make me hit the gym! You have to change the mentality of I don’t feel it, to let’s do this!

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   No one can do anything about your body, but you! No one can make you love yourself, that is something you have to want to change. It took me many years to learn that! It’s funny, 5 years ago the only bar I would hit served liquor. Now my happy hour is lifting the bar in my gym! 😉

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    I made changes not only for my well being, but to teach my daughter that she needs to love herself. I can’t set that example for her if I continue to hate myself. Right now, she looks in the mirror and says “Mama I so pretty.” That is something I want to here her say every day of her life!

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     Moments like that, also get my butt in gym. I want to show her that I love myself too!

What motivates you? Do have negative people in your life? Are you willing to let go of your negative lifestyle to get the things you want? Making the decision to change my life, made me happy! What is gonna make you find your happy?

           Happy Sunday to all of you and much love and blessing to you and your families!

Digging deeper and pushing through, not just your workout, but your life!

It is Fit Friday! Today is shoulder day in the gym. However, I neglected to do my leg workout last night. I watched the Olymipics instead. Not a good excuse lol, but that is the reason why. So I decided to get my leg workout in during the day and tonight when Josh gets home we can do Shoulders together. I like to have a spotter on some workouts, plus it is great to have your hubby pushing you to go harder!!! Josh is great for that! He is one of my biggest motivators as well as my biggest fan 😉 

My legs have always been a negative in the personal view of my body. Most people will never see me in shorts. (Until today lol)  A dress? Eh, only in super high heels lol, but that is on rare occasion as well. I am more of a jeans and T-shirt kind of gal. I use to hate leg days, but they have become one of my favorite workout days. I have grown to love squats as well as calf raises. I never had much of a booty when I was younger lol, but it is coming in quite nice!  No matter how much I may like a certain workout day, some days I just feel like BLAH and have to dig deep to finish my workout strong! Sure, any workout is better than no workout, but why not just give it your all while you are there!!! This is when I push myself into what I like to call Beastmode! However sometimes, it is hard to get there!

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 On the days I am not motivated, I simply look at my before pics and see how far I have already come! I also follow several inspirational people on Facebook, Twitter, as well as several blogs! These wonderful people and pictures help me get my tush off the sofa and in the gym. Simply by just getting into my workout clothes and shoes is a huge step to walking down those stairs. I am blessed to have a home gym in my basement. It may not have everything I want, but for now it does the job! It has helped turned many I can’t moments into I can, I will, and I did moments!

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  Today was a day that halfway through my workout, my mind said I was done. I wasn’t done!!! I still had work to finish. Learning to change your own mind and push through a workout or any life trial, can sometimes be very difficult! Sometimes that negative person who still lives in that little nook in the back of your brain wakes up and tries to make you believe you just can’t finish the task at hand.

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 I have goals! In some people’s eyes they are HUGE goals. I have been told by some, they are unrealistic. I beg to differ! 😉 Everyday that you push yourself and do what you know needs to be done, is one more day closer to being where you want to be! With that being said, I did push through my workout!

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ImageI DID FINISH AND I FINISHED STRONG!

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  As much as I fought with myself to finish, I beamed with the feeling of accomplishment when I did complete my workout! Most times, we are our own worst enemy in so many aspects of our lives! No one else is going to get you through this life! Everything is up to you! You can either ignore your issues and let that negative little person take over your entire mind, or you can send them an eviction notice and take charge! Life is too short to spend keeping yourself down. This way of thinking has pulled me out of depression. It applies to every aspect of my life, not just my fitness goals! 🙂 No matter what, there is always a way!

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     What motivates you? What helps you push through those negative “I Can’t” moments? What is your favorite workout day? Do you have anything you would like to see on my blog? Do you have any questions for me? Feel free to drop me a line I love to interact with my readers!!!! I hope everyone has a Happy and Fit Friday!!! Thank you for stopping by!!!!

Never turning back

Someone asked me what my health/fitness goals actually were and why I am doing this? Well it is a very long story, but here we go…..When I was younger, I was skinny. Not healthy skinny, I would say it was what they now call skinny fat. I ate maybe twice a day, mostly junk. I drank WAY too much alcohol and soda. I smoked cigarettes and marijuana. I was what most called a party girl. I slept very little and spent a lot of time in bars are at parties.

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 I was in no way happy with life! I spent a lot of time depressed with a fake smile. I thought the life I was leading was how things just were. I was with my then husband since the age of 14. We married when I was 21. We spent most of the time drunk to be honest. We had a friend move in and the drinking became a big problem, then I had found out out my dad’s leukemia was getting worse, that is when everything spun out of control. The alcohol and partying became so bad, my health started declining. I had debilitating migraines. They were so bad that I had to seek the help of a neurologist. So many tests were ran and I was pumped full of so many drugs. It seriously scared me. I went through a period of time where one of the drugs I was on started affecting my speech and motor skills. I had a stutter, lost hearing in one ear, lost over 30lbs in weight that I really didn’t have to lose, and my hands locked up. It took months to recover after I stopped taking the prescriptions they gave me. I decided to quit taking the meds altogether and that I would just deal with the headaches.To this day, the hearing in my left ear is still gone and I still have the occasional stutter.

I didn’t drink at all when I was sick. I was lonely and depressed. It seemed like none of my friends ever called or even asked how I was. I later found out that most of them were never told I was in the hospital or sick. My family didn’t know! When I finally was back home, everyone I knew was out partying. I had a few friends at work who took the time to care for me emotionally, others just wanted to know when I would be bar ready again. Needless to say, I had barely sobered up before I started drinking again. I remember a discussion being held in my kitchen with some friends and my then husband. I to be honest, don’t remember what the conversation was about exactly, I just remembered him saying I will never change. This is my lifestyle I like to drink, smoke, and party. I will do this to the day I die. I asked him if he was serious. In his own choice words, he said yes. That hit me like a brick wall. Even though I did drink and party, I still did want more from life! This certainly wasn’t it!!!!

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 The following weeks were spent a lot with my father. He had been really sick at that time. He decided to tell me he knew I wasn’t happy and asked why I stayed there in my dark place. I didn’t have an answer, but the conversation had me pondering that question every moment of every day!  One day My husband and I got into an argument, it wasn’t a bad one, but it was enough. I simply walked upstairs packed my bags and left. I filed for divorce and I never turned back.

I continued to drink and smoke and live recklessly. I had befriended a gentleman at work and he not only became a shoulder for me to cry on, but a friend to be real with. He started to show me a world I had only been curious about. The drinking slowed down a lot and I was eating better. We joined a gym and started working out. I was in awe of this new lifestyle! I had no idea how fun lifting could be! I had no idea how fun being sober could be lol. This new lifestyle and new friend had me smitten. My friend (Josh) became more than just a friend. We moved in together 🙂

One evening we were casually talking about our past lives, where we were from, how we grew up, etc. We decided on a whim to just pick up and move to Texas. He had looked into several job opportunities there, so we sold most of what we owned. I finished up the divorce proceedings and we left. Shortly after moving there we found out we were going to be parents! My reaction was just WOW! His was happiness. I have never in my life seen a man so happy and proud to find out he was going to be a daddy! I was seriously scared! Things were moving so very fast!!!! I even grew fast!

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 I grew so fast the first doctor we saw thought I was having twins lol. As my belly grew so did our relationship. The drinking and smoking had obviously stopped. I also dusted my Bible off and started reading again. Heathy eating was a concern to an extent. I was a stickler about no artificial colors or preservatives. My biggest vice unfortunately was cheeseburgers and Ben and Jerry’s Ice cream. Neither clean or healthy in any way!!!! Needless to say I continued to grow HUGE!!!!

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  Once our beautiful girl came into the world our health focuses changed! We had to set an example for this child!!! I want to keep up with her and be here for her!!! You think you understand the meaning behind the saying “things change when you have your own children”. You don’t really grasp what it truly feels like till it actually happens.

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  We brought her home and life was blessed <3 Then I looked in the mirror naked and reality set in. Oh did the depression set in!!! I am a champ about smiling through pain and hiding my feelings, however late at night when everyone is sleeping, if I am having a depressed moment, I cry. Not just a few weeps here or there, I ugly cry, hard and long. I had a lot of those moments. I have always been my worst critic when it came to my body, but I had never weighed this much before. I was 125 when I got pregnant. I was 185 after Zoe was born.

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 185 did not sit well with me at all! I started working out I did aerobics, Tae Bo, belly dancing, I tried a lot of things. We moved back to Missouri. Josh bought a weight set and we started lifting again. I got down to 147 and plateaued. I  was frustrated. I came across the LiveFit  program on bodybuilding.com I started it and the diet. That is where I began learning a lot more about eating clean. Once we started I was hooked.

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 I was seeing changes and seeing them fast. Then I made the mistake of stepping on the scale. Ugh I gained weight!!! What???? Josh has been a God send! He made me realize I had gained muscle, more muscle than I had fat, so I weighed more. he just kept drilling that into my head. We moved again and were staying with his parents. Between that and the holidays, I fell off the healthy bandwagon. My weight had stayed the same, but my muscle turned pudgy. Depression was rearing it’s ugly head again. One good cry and i knew what had to be done!

   I am happy to say, I am back in the gym and working hard as ever. I LOVE lifting and I am finally loving my body!!!  My depression has lessened greatly and I am eating right, feeding my family right, and setting a great example for our daughter! Josh and I got married May 20,2012 My dad miraculously started doing better when Zoe was born! He is still currently getting chemo treatments weekly, but is a very proud grandfather and fighting to stay in her life as long as possible!!!!

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This trip on the health/fitness train is far from being done, in fact it will never be done! I am proud to say this IS my lifestyle now! My goal now is to not only build substantial muscle, but to have less than 12% body fat. That is a huge feat, but I am well on my way!!!! Just FYI The picture below was taken July 28, 2012 My weight in the picture is 157.8 I am 5’4 and I am ok with this 🙂

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  I have no regrets in my life. Everything has taught me a lesson and molded me to be the person I am now! What are your goals and dreams? Does your lifestyle keep you from them? Would you change everything in your life just to be happy?

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